The True Path to Happiness

About a month ago, my friend Jenna and I were asked to speak in church.  She was asked to speak on an article from the Ensign entitled "Being Single in a Family Oriented Church."  I was asked to speak on "The True Path to Happiness" but twist it to share what it is like as a single.  The link to the article is provided- you can read the full text there.  My sister wanted to hear my talk but here's the text.  Its probably a little different from what I had to say at church but here's the idea.  Its LONG!  Sorry.
http://lds.org/liahona/2011/06/the-true-path-to-happiness?lang=eng&query=true+path+happiness

I don't know what is worse.  Being asked to speak in church 4 weeks ago so you have time to stress over it and think it to death or just get asked Wednesday to speak on Sunday.  Either way, here I am.  I was asked by Bro Smith (name change) to speak on this specific article.  So before I delve into my thoughts on it, I'd like to read a few quotes.
1.  "An article in the New York Times asserted, "Marital happiness is far more important than anything else in determining personal well-being."
Hmmm- isn't that interesting?
2.  "The Prophet Joseph Smith taught: "Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness and keeping all the commandments of God."
Hmm- more interesting thoughts...
3.  "In the spirit of the statement of the New York Times about marriage and the Prophet's optimistic declaration, I am confident that we can have the happiness that we desire and that God wants for us."
Ok- now.  Before I go any further, does anyone else see the irony here?  Asking someone with zero marriage experience to speak on an article focused on that?  If I'm being honest, everything I know about marriage and marital bliss comes from Oprah and Dr. Phil and since neither of them are pulpit appropriate, I've decided to take some liberties with my assignment and speak on tithing. :) 
Just kidding, I will be sharing a lot of Elder Cook's thoughts and perhaps adding or removing some for speaking purposes.
Let me read the words from Joseph Smith again: "Happiness is the object and design of our existence."  Did you hear that?  We were designed and created to be happy beings.  And He wants us to return and be happy beings.  It will be our end IF, and you'll hear that word a lot today, IF we are virtuous.  IF we are holy.  IF we are keeping the commandments.  So I want to put us all on an even playing field right now.  The Prophet Joseph reminded us that married or not, the path to happiness depends on the choices we make.  So I would like to share some thoughts about helping us attain the happiness promised by keeping the commandments and living the best we can whether I have a husband or not.
The first point taken from Elder Cook is to be grateful.  To be grateful for your heritage, especially.  He states "It is clear that we need to be grateful for our parents and take positive action to acquire that which they would hope to bestow upon us.  This is a step toward personal happiness."  I teach jr high and when kids talk to me about their families, they are usually upset and hate their parents.  Those of you with 10 and 11 year olds, get ready- it just happens.  They don't like you.  They are not grateful for you.  However, when I talk with kids I try to remind them that you only want good things for them.  You want for them to have better than what you did.  Elder Cook reminds us to take positive steps towards those desires and wishes.  I have to think, in this context, it also applies to our heavenly heritage and being reminded of all we are indebted to our Heavenly Father for.  He and Jesus Christ made sacrifices of magnitude in order to assure that we could return and gather as much happiness as we wanted, IF, there's that word again, IF we lived as he asked us to do.
Elder Cook's next suggestion is to commit yourself to the family as the foundation for happiness.  He further states that many are choosing not to get married or are delaying marriage for other reasons.  I can tell you honestly that when it comes to my marital status, "choice" and "delay" are not two words I use.  I would love nothing more than to be in a committed eternal relationship and have kids getting peanut butter on my pants and macaroni on my floor.  And right up until yesterday as I was preparing this, I was quite irritated about this section of the article.  I don't know if I had a change of heart or just one of those "dah" realizations, but I DO have experience with eternal families.  My parents have just celebrated 43 years of marriage.  They were sealed in the temple, which means I get to be part of them and my siblings forever.  I have 3 siblings who have all been married in the temple.  We are all committed to attending our meetings and fulfulling our callings and teaching my 12 nieces and nephews what it means to be a member of the true Gospel.  We are all committed to returning with honor and receiving the object and design of our existence- happiness. 
It was just Friday night that my brother moved home from Texas.  I happened to be at a party at my friend's house and she lives two houses away from my brother's inlaws.  I pulled up the same time he did by coincidence.  As my nieces got out of the car, I bent down to say hello to my 3 year old.  She got a huge grin on her face and ran into my arms where I scooped her up and held her for several minutes and just snuggled.  I'm sorry New York Times, but that was pure happiness right there without needing a husband for it.
The next 3 sections of Elder Cook's article are all closely connected in my opinion:  Be involved in a Positive Way, Live and Communicate Your Standards and Be a Light.  I believe that when you are involved in your community and circle of influence in a positive way, your standards are communicated and you DO become a light in very dark places.  Elder Cook's exact words are "be a powerful force for good."  I think I loved this so much because of the context of "force."   A force is something to be reckoned with.  A force is something people either get out of the way for, or jump on board with.  I mean, it DID take down Darth Vadar and the Death Star. ;)
I believe that if we live the standards of the Gospel as we have convenanted to do, that powerful force develops around us and we will be known for our good works.  We all live hectic busy lives, something I believe Satan uses to distract us.  I think it is VITAL to take an intense look at just what we're busy with and decide if those activites are creating positive moments.  Are those activities allowing for opportunities to live our standards and share with others?  And, most importantly, are the things you are doing bringing light and peace into your homes where you have the most influence, as well as the most responsibility to do so?
I would dare say, if our lives are so filled with distractions of the world that cause us to neglect our responsibilites as members of the Church, then true happiness- the object of our design- will never be something we can have and share in.
In case you can't tell, I disagree with the New York Times.  I believe the true path to happiness has less to do with marriage and more to do with how you live and honor our Heavenly Father.  It is my prayer that as individuals and married couples, where applicable, we become a light and positive force for good.

More from the jr high...

We had our first 7th grader meltdown of the year in my class today.  Its kind of like a badge of honor.  However, I don't know that I can rightfully claim it because it wasn't my fault.  Let's call this kid Bob (which happens to be my default name for all things associated with school).
Bob got lost before 3rd period and I happened to be in the hall when he first started to cry.  With his chin quivering, I showed him the way to his class on his little school map on his planner.  I think he made it to that class. 
Next period, Bob shows up and walks into my classroom again.  I was at the door once more and thought "Hmm- that's odd.  I have 8th graders right now."  Sure enough, here comes Bob bolting out of  my room in tears because he had realized he was in the wrong room.  I stopped him again and helped him find his way. 
FINALLY, it was 5th period and time for Bob to be in my room.  He comes into class, takes his seat and promptly bursts into tears.  I thought "I'll let him work through this one.  He's in the right spot.  He'll be ok and just needs a minute to pull it together."  I make some general announcements through the sniffles and inform everyone of the seating chart.  I thought maybe moving to a new seat would give him time to take a deep breath and compose himself....
Nope.  Sits down in his new seat and puts his head in his hands and continues to cry.  Ok- I can work with this.  He's calmed down to no tears at this point- just some red eyes and sniffles. So I keep moving on.  Bad choice... Bob continues to cry until its now quite noticeable and I could be known as "The Heartless Teacher who Let Bob Cry."  So I tell Bob "hey cute kid, let's you and I step out into the hall and take a minute, ok?"  I'm smiling as I direct him towards the door.  He leaves and I turned around and said to the other kids "Just remember- this could be you tomorrow!"
I get outside my room to see Bob hiding his face in the corner, sobbing to the point of not getting his breath.  The Ugly Cry.  So my first job was to get him breathing again.  Once that was managed by taking three great big breaths together, I asked him what was so awful to have him this upset?!  His reply?  "I HATE MY LOCKER!  I HATE ALL OF THIS!  I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE!"  Ok- so I take it you're not transition well from elementary school? *sigh*
I found some girls who went to find the nicest SBO I could think of, and Sara took time out of her lunch to walk him to his locker and help him learn how to work it.  He returned to class a little more composed.  I thought we were good....
Nope.  He stopped at my desk after class and his chin started to quiver again.  "Bob- I thought you fixed your locker, bud?" 
"We did, but I'm not sure I can open it again and I can't get to my assignments!"  *sigh*
I reassured him the best I could that all of us would help him out tomorrow and not to be concerned.  I'm not sure that helped much, but it got him through lunch.  I called his dad after school and let him know Bob was having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day and wanted to move to Australia.  Dad's response?  "Ok. Thanks." ?!
Yep- no wonder.  Poor kid.

My first day of school... ruined!

Its that time of year where all things school come forward on every mind in America.  Crosswalks.  Sharp pencils.  Spiral notebooks.  Folders with your favorite characters on front.  Wal-mart.  Shopko. KMart. Target. The Dollar Store.  You name it- every one is going to stock all those things.  I get so excited for the first week of school, especially for 7th graders!  They are so cute and fun and excited with you!  You can get them to do ANYthing.
Today was my first day with students.  At my school, the sevies get to come all by themselves.  Then they don't come Monday but come back on Tuesday.  They are so nervous about finding their way around the giant rectangle.  How do I pay my lunch money?  What happens if I can't open my locker?!  Don't even say the word "gym" class.... HA!  They're so cute! 
However.  I did the unthinkable today.  I ruined someone's first day of jr high and I'm sick about it. I was 10 minutes into school.  My cute first hour had been seated and we were going through the roll, making sure everyone was in the right spot.  I asked if I had missed anyone and someone raised their hand.  Black, curly hair pulled back into a pony tail.  Beautiful full lips. Dark framed glasses. A little chubby and tom-boyish.  I asked them to come over and let me take a look at their schedule.  Imagine the horror they already feel by being in the wrong room and then... ugh.  Anyway, I look at the schedule (only the classes) and this student switched their first hour class and advisory class.  They weren't supposed to be in my room for another 40 minutes.  I cheerily said, "That's ok!  Let's get you to the right spot. Walk with me."  So we walk to my door, where a secretary was bringing me another lost student.  I said "Oh good! Mary, can you help this cute girl find her first period please?  She's supposed to be with Mrs. Osgood."  And that student looked at me and said ..... "I'm a boy."
I was immediately sent back to my sophomore year in high school when my hair was Mark Koebel short and I was bagging groceries for my job and this old man said "Hey young man, can you help me out with these?"  I knew in my gut what I had just said to this young man!  I was mortified.  I apologized and he said it was ok and they left.  He returned 40 minutes later for advisory where I quietly apologized again and he smiled and said it was ok. 
UGH.  I'm sick about it!  That perfect first day of junior high- RUINED!  You're already self conscious!  You already feel out of place and awkward. You're trying to fit in and find new friends and where you belong.  You're supposed to go home and tell your mom how great jr high is and you're going to love it! You have the coolest teachers in the world!  I ruined that!  I deserve a crazy parent phone call for this one.

4:30 came early today

Welcome back to Krank class...

Before and After

If you remember, sometime ago I posted about some building defects found in the townhome community where I live.  We ended up in a long battle with our builder, some structural engineers, soil samplers, our lawyers, their lawyers, general contractors and homeowners.  All in all its been about two years but they (meaning the builder), finally agreed that we were under warranty, that they are at fault, and that they will fix the problems.  The problems varied from sinking foundations due to poor soil packing  up to cement and concrete breakages.  *sigh*  why bore you with the details?!  They claimed they could have the work done this summer and all would be well.  So I've been waiting patiently for my home to be worked on, knowing I had to go back to work mid-August.  I've been hearing horror stories about how long the process takes and how many visits neighbors have had from workmen.... Again- why bore you?! 
Here's the reader's digest version for my home:  I asked for an exception to be made so my home could be done by the time I went back to school.  They said yes and my home is now back in one piece, complete with new laminate wood floors and zero structural issues.  Here's some shots.

Here's the kitchen/dining area.  You can't see the cracks that show through the vinyl, or the part that was sinking by the sliding doors, but they're there.

My full garage and my empty house.  I was told I could keep the couches on the carpet... but ended up moving them once they started anyway. HA!

And there's the new floor... Burmese Ironwood.  I love it.  The contrast is awesome with the cabinets and counter top. 

There's a few things still missing.  My great grandmother's hutch will come back after they have painted the baseboard on the kitchen wall.  I just didn't want to move it back and then have to move it again.  Its old and fragile!  The piano has also made an exodus back to my mom and sister.  It gives me more room and a chance for them to play for awhile.  Plus, my living room can have a different arrangement now! Yay!
I have to say, for the annoying time it took to get here, I'm pleased with the results.  I'm happy and feel comfortable in my home again.  I feel confident that it is safe and sound, like it should be.  End chapter.

John Adams inspires me

You've heard me quote John Adams before.  Its one of my favorite quotes of all time. 
“The little strength of mind and the considerable strength of body I once possessed appear to be all gone, but while I breathe, I shall be your friend.”  February 1825- Adams to Jefferson

This is Amy.  We met our second year in college, about 18 years ago, and I hope if she reads this, she'll forgive me for not finding a more flattering picture of both of us lol  At one point in time, we were inseparable.  Best of friends.  You'll never find someone more outgoing, more outrageous and more courageous than she.  She has an infectious personality that people are drawn to and want to be part of.  I learned so much from her about people, about pepsi, about oatmeal launching, life, love and the pursuit of happiness.  She has always been someone who goes for it, all in, all the time.  I've always admired her for that.  For numerous reasons, we lost touch.  For numerous reasons, when we'd try to find each other, the timing wasn't right.
Its only been recently that we've reconnected on Facebook.  And finally tonight, we were able to have some dinner at my home and just talk about life, love and the pursuit of happiness. It was a lovely evening with her newborn daughter.  I've missed her laughter and smile.  I've missed how she "gets it" in all situations.  I've just missed her! She lives in another state and doesn't get here often.  Memo to me:  visit soon :)

As she left tonight, John Adams came to mind and I know what he felt when he wrote to Jefferson.  Thank you, my dear friend :)

Thank you, Matt Damon!

As though I needed another reason to crush on him, Matt Damon recently spoke at an education rally in D.C.  Here's what he had to say.

And here's what he said to in interviewer.  Stupid reporters.