My Own Back to School

As I've just read everyone's blogs about sending their kids back to school and their love of school supplies, I am reminded that I don't send kids back to school. I get to welcome kids back to school. But I DO get to send MYSELF back to school. I didn't take a picture of myself on the first day- sorry. But I will tell you about my first week and how its going to be my lucky year with "fun" parents.
* Parent 1 catches me the week before school while I'm in the office...follows me into the workroom to tell me how amazing her daughter is and could I please let her in my leadership class? Sure- talk to the counselor. She also went to our SBO advisors and tried to get them to let her daughter be an SBO at OUR school simply because she was voted in as one at her other school that she was transferring from. wow. Parent 1 then apparently shows up to school on Thursday during my leadership class and tells the office secretary that I told her she could come by any time and talk to me and help with class birthdays? (what?) She wanted to interrupt my class to do it. She actually came to my room, I think, and then went back down to the office with a different story for the secretary about why she needed to talk to me. What she really wanted was to bring donuts into class next week for her daughter's birthday...(isn't that an elementary school thing?) So I sent her an email after school reminding her I can't take visitors during school hours but if she'd like to make an appt... blah blah. I explained that, as per school policy, if she'd like to drop something off in the office for her daughter, they'd make sure she received it. The next day she pulled her daughter out of class. haha
* Parent 2 Her son has a habit of missing school... alot. I think he was in my class last year less than 10 times. He already missed the first 4 days of school. He finally came and I said Hey! Where ya been? Did you know school started Monday? (ummm.. ya, but i thought i was registered somewhere else...) Ok- well- ya gotta make sure you're here this year so we can help you pass class! Next morning during class again, Parent 2 is demanding I speak to her for being rude to her son. This is the same mother who called another teacher last year a ____ pain in the ____ for suggesting her son's absences were contributing to his failing class.
* Parent 3 I received an email last night from a parent demanding that I give her daughter a disclosure statement and if I didn't, she was going to file a complaint with the district! She couldn't believe I wasn't more kind to 7th graders! It wasn't HER fault our school district decided to start school during the bow hunt- that was HER family time and I better give her daughter what she needs Monday morning or she's going over my head! I couldn't remember a soul asking for work from being absent so I checked her daughter's grade. She not only received it, she had it turned in and it was recorded on the grades. So I returned an email, as politely as I could, asking if perhaps she didn't have me confused with another teacher? I referred her to our grading system and told her I was sorry she was frustrated. I haven't heard back from her... wonder if she's figured it out yet?
So to all of you sending your children off to their first days of school, here sits one teacher ready for one of you to be the crazy parent we talk about in the faculty room :)